LOVE AND MARRIAGE - MY FIRST LOVE
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
Love, as the word is understood in the West, is known to only a tiny minority of the very Westernized living in the half-a-dozen, big cities of India - those who prefer to speak English rather than Indian languages,
read only English books, watch only Western movies and even dream in English.
For the rest, it is something they read about in poems or see on the screen but very rarely experience personally. Arranged marriages are the accepted norm, 'love marriages' a rarity. In arranged marriages, in most cases, the husband and wife suffer each other till the end of their days.
(p. 27-28)
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ON BEING A WRITER
The world of writers and publishers has changed beyond recognition. The pioneers of Indians writing in English either had patrons who helped them find publishers, or organizations which sponsored their works. They made some noise in literary circles but not much money. Literary agents were little known. Today a literary agent has become a powerful factor in publishing: the best writers use them because it is the agents who get publishing houses to cough up huge sums as advanced royalties*. The whole business resembles a whorehouse. Publishers can be compared to brothel keepers, literary agents to bharooahs [pimps] who find eligible girls and fix rates of payment; writers can be likened to prostitutes. Newcomers are naya maal [virgins] who draw the biggest fees for being deflowered. I for one never went through a literary agent - nor did I have problems finding a good publisher. I was happy with the 8 to 10 per cent they give me on the sales of my books.
(p. 54-55)
*[Authors have to pay back to publishers the big "advanced royalties" they sometimes get from their publishers. "Advanced royalties" are not gifts to authors by their publishers! It is a publicity gimmick! - G]
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MY FIRST LOVE
She was a Muslim from Hyderabad who had come to Delhi to study Home Science at Lady Irwin. I must have been around seventeen; I was in college then. Ghayoorunnisa was three years older than me. She was my sister's friend. On one of those occasions when she, my sister and I had gone to the cinema, she slipped her hand in mine. That alone meant a lot to me. I was drawn to her and the burkha she wore only added to my attraction. It made her even more alluring, romantic, even more beautiful. Ghayoor died some years ago. On hearing of her death I went to Hyderabad and visited her grave. When I had last met her in Hyderabad she was very lonely. She was not in good health and she'd spoken of death. She had even booked a grave for herself. Most members of her family had died and her daughter Fareesa had gone abroad and settled there.
Ghayoor and I didn't end up together, it just didn't happen. I went off to England to study and Ghayoor had gone back to Hyderabad.
She got married and settled there. She married twice, actually. I met her again after thirty years, in Delhi, when she accompanied Fareesa for her admission into Lady Irwin College. I continued to keep in touch with her after that and made it a point to meet her whenever I was in Hyderabad. I was so taken with Ghayoor that it drew me to the entire Muslim community. I do believe that if you fall in love your very perception of the other person's community changes. You begin to feel closer to that community. Before I met Ghayoor I'd had stereotypical notions of Muslims - the sort of notions that most Hindus and Sikhs are brought up with. But all that changed. And my attachment for the Muslim community increased in the years that followed. I met and was friendly with many women after Ghayoor, but with her it was different.
(p. 24-26)
[Weird. - G]
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ON HONESTY
I don't think there are many honest people around these days. I can't think of anyone. My ideal [sounds like a joke to Me - G] in this regard will always be Manzur Qadir [lawyer at the Lahore High Court, then Pakistan's foreign minister, then chief justice of the Lahore High Court; his wife looked like pr. Madonna - G].
I don't think there are many honest people around these days. I can't think of anyone. My ideal in this regard will always be Manzur Qadir, whom I had first met while practising at the Lahore High Court. Later, he became Pakistan's foreign minister and then chief justice of the Lahore High Court. In all these years, I haven't met a more honest man than Qadir and that's why I keep his photograph on my mantelpiece, where I can always see it. Qadir was so honest that the Income-tax department had invariably to return money to him for he always overpaid. He was the only person I know who never told a lie and took great pains to avoid hurting people. He was a sort of litmus paper with which his friends would test their own integrity. Whenever we were in doubt about what would be the right thing to do, we'd ask ourselves, would Manzur approve?
Manzur was most unusual. He observed the highest standards of rectitude, a rare trait, particularly among lawyers. He took his fees by cheque and when someone did pay in cash, gave receipts for the full amount.
A couple of years older than me, Manzur and I shared a love for literature. And like me, he was an agnostic. A short, balding man with thick glasses, Manzur married Asghari, a great beauty, whom the painter RoeRICH used as a model [nude?] for his portraits of the Madonna. Manzur and I were lucky that our wives, BOTH EQUALLY DIFFICULT, hit it off. We began eating in each other's homes every other evening. Kaval [Khushwant Singh's wife] shared Manzur's enthusiasm for the cinema and went to the movies together [and?] at least once every week. They also shared a passion for mangoes and would, between them, demolish a dozen at one sitting. Our friendship was much talked about, especially since such close friendships between Sikhs or Hindus and Muslims were rare in those days.
Honesty is such a rare virtue these days that awards are given to people for being honest. Sulabh International had conferred the 'Honest Man of the Year Award' on me in 2000. I'm sure there are hundreds of honest people around but if I'm asked to point them out I'd have great difficulty in doing so.
There are no set yardsticks to measure honesty, but I could safely say one thing about myself - I have rarely ever lied and this has been so right from my childhood. I have always been outspoken and written without fear of any kind. I've never lied to my wife or to my friends. This may be because I'm emotionally strong. I have never cultivated a close friend or lover. I could be dropped by friends but I'm least bothered. I have always been fearless, even as a child I was known to speak my mind. Of course, there are consequences. I was on the hit list of a certain terrorist group and my house had to be guarded for fifteen years. So there are ways in which I've had to pay a price.**
(p. 91)
This transcript was generated by https://otter.ai
**[An international "terrorist organization" sent him a threat by post with the following address on the envelope:
Khushwant Singh
Bastard
India
It was a proof of his popuarity and fame that the postal peon correctly delivered the letter to him! ... There are so many CLONES in this world! A jailed and tortured "spy" pretending to be a "scientist" at ISRO (an organizstion of 100% Nazi CHEATS) looks like Khushwant Singh! Was he falsely accused of spying? - G]
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Khushwant Singh: ABSOLUTE KHUSHWANT (PENGUIN BOOKS); ISBN 9780143068716; paperback; 189 pages; Rs. 250
I was told by the young owner of NOT JUST BOOKS, a nearby bookstore selling English books of fiction, located not far My house, that the ISBN number helps the bookseller find details of that book from the Internet.
I bought the book on 26/11/2010. (26/11 is the putative "birthday" of My "reborn" top Na. ass. spouse.)
The late Khushwant Singh sent Me a dozen letters of inspiration (in practically illegible handwriting!), all except one written by him on reply-paid postcards I sent him with My address filled by Me! (I hope that he is now living in a new "reincarnation"!) I am quoting two of his very inspiring and helpful letters ("To be forewarned is to be forearmed!" - G):
Dear Kishalay
Thanks. You are a dreamer. But you have to have dreams before you become an achiever. I hope you will soon achieve distinction.
Yours
Khushwant Singh
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Dear Kishalay
Thanks. You have to grow up. Your fantasies of women's fidelity are juvenile.
Yours
Khushwant Singh
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