फांसी

ARTEMIS FOWL 

Now that you have reviewed the case file [of young "criminal mastermind" Artemis Fowl], you must realize what a dangerous creature this Fowl is.

There is a tendency to romanticize Artemis...

He kept the existence of the [Nazi underground] People quiet only so that he could continue to exploit them over the years, which he did on several occasions. His one mistake was leaving Captain [Ms. Holly] Short alive. [Ms.] Holly became the LEP's foremost expert in the Artemis Fowl cases, and was invaluable in the fight against the [underground] People's most feared enemy. This fight was to continue across several decades. 

Ironically, the greatest triumph for both protagonists [Artemis Fowl and Ms. Holly Short] was the time they were forced to cooperate during the goblin insurgence. But that's another story.

Report compiled by: Doctor J. Argon, B. Psych, for the LEP Academy files.

Details are 94 per cent accurate, 6 per cent unavoidable extrapolation [guessing].

BRIEF ENCOUNTERS WITH ... ARTEMIS FOWL 

Artemis is impossible. Everytime we set up an interview he doesn't show. I think he enjoys standing me up. It's his idea of a joke. I get the message, of course. The message is that I am nothing more than his lackey, there to answer his call like a little lap dog. Artemis believes that I wouldn't even have a career if it wasn't for him. Well, I've got news for you, Master Fowl. [यानि अभिमान অভিমান] I was a successful writer [in my previous incarnations] before you came along - I had sold dozens of books and won two certificates of merit. Maybe I lied a bit about my age for the second certificate, but that's not the point. The point is that I don't need you, Artemis Fowl. [Very sad, very tragic.] There are loads of things I could write about. I have an idea about a girl who discovers a door in her... toybox that leads into a world [reminds Me of Alice in Wonderland] ruled by an ice princess. I'm sure that would be a mega bestseller. [My best wishes to Mega Bestseller.] 

***

If Internet rumours are to be believed, twelve-year-old Artemis Fowl is responsible for every major crime of the new century. [Satan and gang of Nazis responsible.] In this, the story of Artemis's first encounter with the [underground] fairy people [male and female Nazis], you'll find out how the criminal mastermind hatched a plot to restore his family's fortune - and how he discovered a world below ground of armed and dangerous fairies and mind-blowing technology [mind-blowing? pathetic]. 

And you'll learn how, by kidnapping Captain [Ms] Holly Short of the Lower Elements Police [LEP], Artemis Fowl almost triggered a cross-species war ... [Nazis have kidnapped and raped females for billions of years. But not My cup of tea. Beneath My dignity.]

(Excerpts from Eoin Colfer: ARTEMIS FOWL. Eoin is pronounced Owen.)

'Fast-paced, tongue-in-cheek, with some laugh-out-loud jokes. Smart and page-turning' - Sunday Times 

Kishalay Sinha [G]

THREATENING LETTER FROM ARTEMIS FOWL 

From: Artemis Fowl II 

Sent: Today 

To: Eoin Colfer 

Subject: artemisfowl.co.uk 

Dear Mr Colfer,

I was disappointed to learn of your continued efforts to hack into my personal files at artemisfowl.co.uk. Please desist. This is a fruitless exercise. Continued attempts to crack my password will result in a visit from my lawyers and ultimately a visit from Butler.

Mr Colfer, you have been warned.

Artemis Fowl II 

Fowl Manor 

*** 

BRIEF ENCOUNTERS WITH ... 

OPAL KOBOI 

I must admit that I have never talked to Opal Koboi face to face. I begged and pleaded with my fairy contacts, but there was nothing anyone could do. Opal Koboi is fairy public enemy number one, and there is no way a human is going to get within a thousand kilometres of her. Foaly did manage to slip me a snippet of video from her trial. I watched it with interest. 

She doesn't look dangerous. This little doll-faced pixie. If you saw her on the street, you'd help her find her mother. But look into her eyes, and the madness there is frightening. During the trial, the prosecutor asked her: Why, Miss Koboi? Why did you do it?

And she turned those cold, dead eyes on him and said: I did it because nobody thought it was possible. It was obvious to me, and to everyone in the courtroom that Opal Koboi did not care about all the lives that could have been lost. Not one whit.

Having seen that video, I'm glad I have never talked to Opal. I never want to. 

Eoin Colfer 

*** 

EOIN COLFER 

Eoin (pronounced 'Owen') Colfer... How he ended up as Artemis Fowl's official biographer is something of a mystery. Colfer claims that the Fowl lawyers contacted him. Artemis Fowl swears that he had never heard of Eoin Colfer until both their names appeared on the cover of his unauthorised biography. There is a rumour that the two met some years ago in the catacombs beneath Dublin Castle. Nobody knows for sure what happened down there, but a source close to Colfer says that he came out of that meeting with grey hair and no money.

However, whether Artemis likes it or not, the Colfer biographies have been hugely successful, climbing to the top of the charts worldwide and winning numerous awards.

Colder still lives somewhere in Ireland but he would not supply the exact address, as he has no wish to have another meeting with Artemis or his bodyguard, Butler.  

(From Eoin Colfer: ARTEMIS FOWL AND THE OPAL DECEPTION) 

Kishalay Sinha [G] 

INFINITE LIGHT YEARS 

I understood long ago that My mind is infinite light years ahead of petty terrestrials who have to struggle to fathom My mind and must be led by Me very slow step by very slow step which can sometimes be tiresome and irritating. A brilliant teacher does not enjoy teaching dull students who cannot follow Him quickly.

Kishalay Sinha [G] 

MAS.

I feel astonished when I see and hear "spiritual" Indian females on TV and radio saying "84 lakh  यो..." I also feel shocked when females say the word mas. (in full) on TV and YouTube... I got My biggest shock in My study of word origins when I learned from the scholarly book "বিজ্ঞান ও দেবদেবী" by নিগূঢ়ানন্দ that the word ভগবান भगवान ভগৱান Bhagawan means owner of many ভগ भग vag/v. I was shocked.

Kishalay Sinha [G] 

UNDER SURVEILLANCE 

I knew many years ago that all male and female humans and Nazis in all forms on and inside Earth are audio and video recorded continuously and all audio video recordings stored by psycho-technologists located in all parts of the universe. My powerful intuition has always turned out to be accurate.

Kishalay Sinha [G] 

फांसी

26/11 mass murderer केशव को जैल के अंदर सचमुच फांसी दिया गया था या चुपचाप भाग जाने का मौका दिया गया था? जैसे Las Vegas mass murderer Stephen/Steve must have been allowed to escape. NASA, Google etc. and cyber hackers must have videos of their facilitated escape.

Kishalay Sinha किशलय सिन्हा जी [G]