SUICIDE - DIVORCE

SUICIDE

One morning several years ago, I had a minor exchange of words with dharmpatnee in the drawing room/living room (whatever you call it) and then went to My study room. Soon afterwards, I heard a loud banging of the door of the drawing room. I came out of My study room - I saw white smoke coming out through the opened ventilator above the locked door of the drawing room. At once, My mind recalled news reports of married Indian women putting kerosene on their sari and igniting it with a burning matchstick. I rushed to My elderly mom in My brother's house in front and narrated the story. My mom angrily dismissed the threat, saying harsh things about My consort. Actually, I also did not care because it was definitely NOT a case of murder (since the door in question was locked from inside) and so I was definitely NOT involved - it might be a case of stupid suicide by a MAD female in which case her parents would be responsible for not giving their immature and excessively pampered daughter proper psychiatric treatment pre marriage (and thus cheating Me) - but still I would be wasting My valuable time going to and fro from our house to the police station and back again and again - valuable time I would prefer to spend on books and other useful things. So, I urged mom to be proactive about it. Mom told Me to ask My sister's professor husband - a simpleton but tall fellow - to help Me in My hour of need. I persuaded him to STOP his accountancy tuition and accompany Me speedily to our house... I saw some nosy female neighbours watching the scene... I quietly went into My study ... when I heard no loud screams, I thought it safe to come out of My study ... My tall simpleton professor brother-in-law had put his hand through the ventilator at the top of the door and had unlocked the door ... I saw My dharmapatni sitting on a stool and burning old newspapers on the floor in front of her, smoke issuing from burning old newspapers. 

G

DIVORCE

One early morning several years ago, at about 7 a.m., My stupid consort suddenly made a phone call to one of her four brothers (a guy who was unemployed, and who usually did not get up before 9 a.m. or 10 a.m.) and told him very loudly: "Bring a lawyer, I want to get a divorce, with 50% of property." I forcibly took the phone from My stupid consort, and told her equally stupid brother not to listen to his stupid didi, but the fellow, completely confused by his broken sleep and by his didi's very strange order to him, YELLED: "Khabardar, Bini [term used for the hubby of one's didi, in My mother tongue/father tongue Bishnupriya Manipuri], if anything happens to didi, things will be bad for You." I cut off the phone. Once again, catching hold of the phone, My stupid consort phoned her gentle mom - (who had read only up to class 5 or class 6 in the village school because she got married early, and had lived a long married life) - and told her in an angry voice: "Ma, I want to divorce your Son-in-law!" My soft and gentle not very well-educated mother-in-law told her daughter softly and gently: "Ma [here, an affectionate term for daughter], what is divorce?"

Kishalay Sinha [G]