PEOPLE - ANGRY AT GOD

ANGRY AT GOD

Sometimes I get angry at God. A lot of people say that we should not be angry at God. That he [He] knows best. It is hard not to [get angry at God], though. Why did he [He] put me through this, why again? Is he [He] trying to push till I fall off the ledge? Right now, the ledge is getting smaller and smaller. One more push and I will cease to exist.

(p. 48)

[How dramatic... but God is not Satan. - G]

- N. Jamir: THE RELUCTANT DAUGHTER [self-published?]

PEOPLE

People do not always get what they want. Life is full of disappointments.

(p. 43)

- N. Jamir: THE RELUCTANT DAUGHTER [self-published?]

[How true. I wish "people" kept these words in mind. However, "people" keep thinking: "যা পাই তা চাই না, যা চাই তা পাই না ।" - G]

G

THAT FUCKER

She spoke about how she had consensual sex with a man she loved at the age of thirteen. It went on for more than four years. She had plans to get married to him till he said he loved her like a sister. Ouch!

'That fucker, he certainly did not think of me as a sister when he was inside my pants,' she fumed.

(p. 112)

N. Jamir: "THE RELUCTANT DAUGHTER - An epidemic not noticed"**, [publisher's name is not given, so it seems to Me to be a self-published book], ISBN 978-1-944171-92-6, 241 pages, ₹ 300/- [the author's photo is on the back cover, but I am not sure if her photo is fake or real; I bought the novel on 1.2.2017 - 1 February 2017 - from NOT JUST BOOKS (an excellent bookshop aka bookstore which has a rich stock of works of fiction in English by Indian and foreign writers) near My house in Tarun Nagar, Guwahati... I hope the ISBN number given in the book is genuine. The price is not fake.]

** the story of a "survivor", so it should appeal to many. ("Was that a sarcastic statement?") 

Kishalay Sinha [G]

September 23, 2019

TALKING TO AN EMPTY BEING

'Sometimes I was like a jealous girlfriend. Why did I want to know what he ** was doing? Why couldn't I just move on? What was wrong with me? What was this power he ** had over me? It puzzled, tormented and disgusted me.

'He [Satan?] was everywhere I went, listened to all I said, paid attention [to other females] where I got none. He was better at all the emotional games I played. There was just no escaping him. He was like a shadow, following me everywhere but never once approaching [me] directly. It felt like he was a hunter and I was the prey. He kept circling me noiselessly, waiting for the opportunity to go in for the kill. Can you imagine the kind of terror I lived in?' I asked Dr. X. 'This happened for many years till I moved away for higher education.

'Nights were the loneliest, while everyone slept, I stayed awake and questioned myself.

'I asked God to help me understand what happened. But it often felt like I was talking to an empty being. And the more I prayed, the more alone I felt. This was when my relationship with God broke.'

** I hope that he [He] in these sentences does not mean God of whom she is very scared. - G

(p. 31 - 32)

(Excerpt from N. Jamir: "THE RELUCTANT DAUGHTER".)

Kishalay Sinha [G]