MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

THE  MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

Alexander Baron: THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (CBSE Board Class 9 English)

Text and explanation - and films - are available on YouTube.

I know Who is the "Man" parodied in this story filled with sarcasm. - G

Kishalay Sinha [G]

THE POISON MAID

From Richard Garnett: The Poison Maid:

Mithridata [Mrityudata - মৃত্যুদাতা - मृत्युदाता] ... enormous serpents infested her cradle, licking her face and twining around her limbs ... her tiny fingers patted scorpions, tied knots in the tails of vipers ... her father, the magician Locusto [Satan/PF?/NL?], fed her with spoonsful [spoonfuls] of the honeyed froth that gathers under the tongues of asps ... as she grew older and craved a more nutritious diet, she partook, at first, of arsenic, strychnine, and prussic acid ... at last, having attained the flower of youth, she drank habitually from vessels of gold, for her favourite beverages were so corrosive that no other substance could resist their solvent properties ...

Gradually accustomed to this strange regimen, she had thriven on it marvellously. Her father had watched over her education with care, and had instructed her in lawful knowledge, save only [(archaic) save only = except only] the knowledge of poisons.  Mithridata [Mrityudata] was unaware that her bringing up had differed in so material a respect from that of other young people.

"Father," said she one day, bringing him a book she had been perusing, "what strange follies learned men will pen with gravity! These dear serpents, my friends and playfellows, this henbane and antimony, the nourishment of my health and vigour - that any one [One] should write of these as pernicious, deadly, and fatal to existence!"

"My child," answered the magician, "it is fit that thou shouldst now learn what hath hitherto been concealed from thee, and with this object I left this treatise in thy way. It speaks truth. Thou hast been nurtured from thy infancy on substances called poisons. Thy entire frame is impregnated thereby, and, although thou thyself art in the fullest enjoyment of health, thy kiss would be fatal to any one not, like thy father, fortified by a course of antidotes. Now hear the reason. I bear a deadly grudge to the king of this land. He indeed hath not injured me; but his father slew my father, wherefore it is meet that I should slay that ancestor's son's son. I have therefore nurtured thee from thy infancy on the deadliest poisons, until thou art a walking vial of pestilence. The young prince shall unseal thee, to his destruction and thy unspeakable advantage. Go to the great city; thou art beautiful as the day; he is young, handsome, and amorous; he will infallibly fall in love with thee. Do thou submit to his caresses, he will perish miserably; thou wilt become wholesome and innocuous as thy fellows, preserving only thy knowledge of poisons, always useful, in the present state of society invaluable. Thou wilt therefore next repair to the city of Constantinople, bearing recommendatory letters from me to the Empress Theophano, now happily reigning."

***

The King commanded her presence. "Maiden," he began. "Thy unaccountable cruelty to my son -"

"Thy son!" she exclaimed. "The Prince! O father [Locusto], thou art avenged!"   

The King looked surprised, but continued:

"Surpasses what history hath hitherto recorded of the most obdurate monsters. Thou art indebted to him for thy honour, to preserve which he has risked his life. Thou bringest him to the verge of the grave by thy cruelty."

"Alas! great King," she replied, "I know too well what your Majesty's opinion must be. I must bear it as I may."

"So thou art the daughter of my old friend the magician Locusto ! [not a complimentary name, with obvious connection to locust] I fathomed his craft, and, as he fed his child upon poisons, I fed mine upon antidotes.

Never did any child in the world take an equal quantity of physic: but there is now no poison on earth can harm him.

REVIEWS OF Norman Lewis

From the back cover of Norman Lewis: THE WORLD, THE WORLD (Picador):

SHORTLISTED FOR THE APPLE NON-FICTION AWARD

In this rich and fascinating second volume of memoirs, following the classic I Came, I Saw [same title as - but with I Conquered missing - as the title of the memoirs of Roman emperor Julius Caesar: Veni, Vedi, Vinci [cf. Leonardo Da Vinci] tr. I Came, I Saw, I Conquered], Norman Lewis [a chameleon for billions of years like chameleon Peter] takes us from ... to ... via Brazil and to ... by way of Braintree, heartland of the paranormal, not to mention Vietnam, Burma, Spain, Cuba, Sicily and India. He recounts his [chameleonic and fictional] wartime career, his life abroad and at home and his reminiscences of Ian Fleming [James Bond] and Ernest Hemingway with his characteristic humour, sharp eye for detail and keen delight in the absurd.

Reviews by:

JOHN Bayley, London Review of Books

'He [Who? - G] is a rare witness to our century [20th century? perhaps all centuries for billions of years? - G] and to the larcenies we [NL, PF, Kr. etc.] have committed in remote places [Germany, Russia, India etc.], hoping not to be seen [this is hoping against hope, coz God has everyone audio video recorded continuously and also their secret inner thoughts continuously recorded for billions of years - G]. He [Who?] has made, in his [His?] quiet way, an enduring impact on this planet ... But he [He?] can be read for giggles, too'

- Nicholas SHAKESPEARE, Telegraph

'Vintage Norman Lewis, the light lash of his humour, his sniffer-dog's nose for the quirky, the lyrical brilliance of his prose'

- Guardian

Front cover photograph of Burma at sunrise © Andy Greenacre [Andy = Andrew]

overconfident and arrogant NL = Andrew Carnegie = Alexander / Napoleon = Shiv = Sw. Viv. =Joseph Stalin/Adolf Hitler = Julius Caesar = "William Shakespeare" (pen name) = JOHN

Vladimir Putin [Vladimir sounds like Bloody Mary] - clone of NL/Julius Caesar

Academician Vladimir Negovsky [a fake name?], Scientific Adviser, Institute of Reanimatology, USSR Academy of Sciences, Moscow. (I received a letter and books from him. Both Academician Vladimir Negovsky and Dr. Peter Safar were reportedly nominated for the Nobel prize for medicine & physiology but both have reportedly died. A FAKE NAME?)

overconfident and arrogant PF = Brahma = Napoleon/Alexander = Napoleon Hill = Hitler/Stalin = Isaac Newton = Antony [cf. Antony and Cleopatra] = Anton Chekhov = PETER

Dr. Peter Safar [a fake name?], Director, International Resuscitation Research Center, University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, USA. (I received a letter and some [fake?] research papers from him. Both Dr. Peter Safar Academician Vladimir Negovsky were reportedly nominated for the Nobel prize for medicine & physiology but both have reportedly died. A FAKE NAME?)

Kishalay Sinha [G]

জয়ন্তী

জয়ন্ত - son of/ clone of Indra

জয়ন্তী - brutal mistress of brutal Indra, one of many brutal mistresses of brutal chameleon Indra/Sw. Viv./Joseph Stalin (or Hitler)/NL

ছদ্মবেশী top brutal Nazi mistress living in extreme panic who has tortured countless male and female humans in hell inside Earth.

Names may be slightly distorted to fool humans, e.g. of Angaraj - Karna - Md. Ali Jinnah, responsible for blood bath in partition of India.

Rabindranath - Rabi + Indra + Nath

Nazi Trinity: PF, NL, Kr. (late)

G

worthless "নতুন গান" - worthless অপদার্থ lyricist, worthless tune, worthless time pass singer - too much hype, একেবারে বাজে quality.

কোন গান ভাল করে rehearsal করে নি - নিজের ইচ্ছেমত সুর দিচ্ছে - গানগুলোর কোন impact নেই ।

G 

EXPECT TO LIVE FOREVER

In this situation it was a matter of politeness to ask what God the headman worshipped, and he said, between hiccups, 'the Divine Earthworm, creator of the world. We have also two or three gods on loan, the most useful being a stone.' Ranjan showed surprise and, reaching for another toddy, the headman said, 'It is all a matter of belief. If you believe a stone is a god [or goddess] then it is one.' **

... The theme encouraged the headman to philosophise. 'There's no sickness here,' he told Ranjan. 'The white people who come here offer us medicines, but we don't take them. We listen to the Earthworm's advice in these matters. He tells us to enjoy life, and that we do. Some of us expect to live forever.

- p. 282, Norman Lewis: THE WORLD, THE WORLD, Picador.

** Norman Lewis: "A GODDESS IN THE STONES: Travels in India", Jonathan Cape, London.

Something sinister about turning humans to stone. NL and PF are brutal mass murderers. - G

Norman Lewis, Peter, God

Among those whose interest had been aroused by my article on tribal genocide in Brazil, was Tony Snowden [K.S.] ... Peter Crookston phoned to say that Snowdon would like to know if I was contemplating any more journeys...

... although Snowden [K.S.] was at that time a member of the Royal family [Son of Krish.], no problem of protocol would exist.

It was a Sunday, and on the way Snowdon [fictitious name] explained why he [He] had particularly wanted to take this flight. Sunday, he [He] said, was the day when people who were of interest to the press [aka journalists] were least likely to travel, and such people [journalists], he [He] had observed, did all they could to avoid early-morning starts. He was therefore unlikely to be bothered by reporters. In one respect Snowdon [K.S.] had done well, since the check-in area was virtually deserted. However, his [His] baggage bore labels identifying them as the possession of the Right Honourable the Earl of Snowdon, and these were not likely to be overlooked. In a matter of minutes an excited young woman who was unmistakably a journalist bore down on us. Snowdon seemed to stiffen and change colour.

'Norman,' he said, 'could you possibly induce her to go away?' This, what diplomacy I could muster, I declined to do. It was an embarrassing moment, and the first of a number of such confrontations.

We touched down at about 10 at night. We took a taxi through empty streets to the hotel.

Snowden [K.S.] had enquired at the [hotel] desk if there were messages and there were none. We could be certain that the telephone would not ring. The battle for anonymity had, it seemed, been won.

My impression was that they had no quarrel with foreigners. And did I think that they could tell a journalist from England from exploiters? I simply didn't know.

Back in the hotel, I asked the manager, 'Do you expect photographers [journalists] tonight?'

'I think they [journalists] will come,' he said.

'Is there any way they [journalists] can be kept out?'

'It is impossible,' he said. 'If we place a man at the door they will come through the windows. They are very persistent and they know all the tricks. A photographer will come in saying he is a plain-clothes policeman, and carrying an imitation police card. Or someone will say he has been taken ill and ask for a doctor. But the doctor is really a photographer and is carrying a camera in his bag. Nothing will keep these people out.'

'Don't you have a private room where we could have dinner?'

'I will show you,' the manager said.

Next morning it was quite evident that the idea of slipping in and out was the stuff of dreams, for Snowden's [K.S.] presence had already hit the headlines. The newspaper described Walter [PF/Afolf Hitler] as a bodyguard, while I [NL/Joseph Stalin] started off as Martin Lewis, Editor of the Sunday Times, becoming thereafter an agent of the Secret Service.

We had taken our seats and waiters came into sight, trudging as silently as assassins towards us. Between us, the manager, hotel staff and myself had achieved an isolation of the kind that Tony ["Tony Snowden"/K.S.] was unlikely to have known before. Alas, it did not please.

Tony [K.S.] was the most intelligent, interesting and active member of the Royal family, but even he [He] may not have been wholly able to escape the syndrome consequent upon an over-long exposure to the inanities of palaces.

***

A journalist may pass unperceived among the crowd and is sometimes rewarded by experiences from which the foreign traveller is carefully steered away. Tony's appearances in the headlines ruled out this possibility.

A few days later it was time for me to move on. Tony appeared in no hurry to return. Minutes before my plane took off I was subjected to a baffling experience. A stewardess called me [NL/Joseph Stalin] to the plane's open door where three Indians [CBI?] stiff in well-pressed suits, begloved and with highly polished shoes waited to see me [NL/Joseph Stalin].

(From Norman Lewis: THE WORLD, THE WORLD, Picador.)

The fictitious name "Snowden" [for K.S.] is reminiscent of Edward Snowden.

Kishalay Sinha [G]

THE POISON MAID

From Richard Garnett: The Poison Maid:

Mithridata [Mrityudata - মৃত্যুদাতা - मृत्युदाता] ... enormous serpents infested her cradle, licking her face and twining around her limbs ... her tiny fingers patted scorpions, tied knots in the tails of vipers ... her father, the magician Locusto [Satan/PF?/NL?], fed her with spoonsful [spoonfuls] of the honeyed froth that gathers under the tongues of asps ... as she grew older and craved a more nutritious  diet, she partook, at first, of arsenic, strychnine, and prussic acid ... at last, having attained the flower of youth, she drank habitually from vessels of gold, for her favourite beverages were so corrosive that no other substance could resist their solvent properties ...

Gradually accustomed to this strange regimen, she had thriven on it marvellously. Her father had watched over her education with care, and had instructed her in lawful knowledge, save only [(archaic) save only = except only] the knowledge of poisons.  Mithridata [Mrityudata] was unaware that her bringing up had differed in so material a respect from that of other young people.

"Father," said she one day, bringing him a book she had been perusing, "what strange follies learned men will pen with gravity! These dear serpents, my friends and playfellows, this henbane and antimony, the nourishment of my health and vigour - that any one [One] should write of these as pernicious, deadly, and fatal to existence!"

"My child," answered the magician, "it is fit that thou shouldst now learn what hath hitherto been concealed from thee, and with this object I left this treatise in thy way. It speaks truth. Thou hast been nurtured from thy infancy on substances called poisons. Thy entire frame is impregnated thereby, and, although thou thyself art in the fullest enjoyment of health, thy kiss would be fatal to any one not, like thy father, fortified by a course of antidotes. Now hear the reason. I bear a deadly grudge to the king of this land. He indeed hath not injured me; but his father slew my father, wherefore it is meet that I should slay that ancestor's son's son. I have therefore nurtured thee from thy infancy on the deadliest poisons, until thou art a walking vial of pestilence. The young prince shall unseal thee, to his destruction and thy unspeakable advantage. Go to the great city; thou art beautiful as the day; he is young, handsome, and amorous; he will infallibly fall in love with thee. Do thou submit to his caresses, he will perish miserably; thou wilt become wholesome and innocuous as thy fellows, preserving only thy knowledge of poisons, always useful, in the present state of society invaluable. Thou wilt therefore next repair to the city of Constantinople, bearing recommendatory letters from me to the Empress Theophano, now happily reigning."

***

The King commanded her presence. "Maiden," he began. "Thy unaccountable cruelty to my son -"

"Thy son!" she exclaimed. "The Prince! O father [Locusto], thou art avenged!"   

The King looked surprised, but continued:

"Surpasses what history hath hitherto recorded of the most obdurate monsters. Thou art indebted to him for thy ho our, to preserve which he has risked his life. Thou bringest him to the verge of the grave by thy cruelty."

"Alas! great King," she replied, "I know too well what your Majesty's opinion must be. I must bear it as I may."

"So thou art the daughter of my old friend the magician Locusto ! [not a complimentary name, with obvious connection to locust] I fathomed his craft, and, as he fed his child upon poisons, I fed mine upon antidotes.

Never did any child in the world take an equal quantity of physic: but there is now no poison on earth can harm him.

***

Anthony Hope: The Philosopher in the Apple Orchard

etc. etc. in -

SWEET COLLECTION OF ROMANCE AND LOVE STORIES, G.B.D.'s, Good Books Distributors Publishers, 31 Chowringhee Road, Kolkata-16/BOOKS AND GIFTS, S.C. Goswami Road, Canara Bank Building, Panbazar, Guwahati-1, 204 pages, Price: Rs. 70.00

Claire Boiko/K. A. Abbas: THE BOOK THAT SAVED THE EARTH [K.S./God], SEBA English Supplementary Reader for Class X.

Kishalay Sinha কিশলয় সিনহা किशलय सिन्हा जी [G]