VERY STRANGE PHONE CALL

VERY STRANGE PHONE CALL

Yesterday afternoon (February 5, 2019) I received a call from My wife from Silchar where she had gone last Sunday by road by car with one of her brothers who is unemployed but can drive well (since I will be writing about a serious matter, I will not be facetious and so I will NOT refer to My wife as My "consort" or as My "dharmpatnee"). She told Me that she received a phone call from someone who requested her to give My contact number in Guwahati - I asked My wife if it was a girl who had called and in which language the phone call was made (girl staff of Internet companies sometimes make real or virtual i.e. recorded phone calls to customers) - My wife told Me it was a male person who had spoken in Hindi and that she gave him My contact number and that I would be getting a phone call from him very soon.

Soon My smartphone started ringing - I noticed that the number began with 11 - it was obviously from Delhi, the CAPITAL of India. I was sure it was from the Hindi-speaking guy, so I responded politely in Hindi with the Indian greeting "नमस्ते" even before he started speaking! I wondered who the guy might be. The guy told Me he was "Captain Bipin Something" and that he was speaking from the Indian Army headquarters (in New Delhi) and wanted to know WHY I HAD SENT A LETTER TO INDIAN ARMY CHIEF (I had indeed sent a letter to Indian Army Chief General Bipin Rawat last month on January 23) and if My letter was only for his information or if I wanted him to take action. Well, I told him, I have high respect for the Indian Army and I told him it was actually only for his information and he hung up. But I was puzzled and I kept wondering why Captain Bipin Something was so nosy and I felt very angry and decided I should make things clear to Captain Bipin and called him back because his number was on My call log. Another guy received My call - I told him that I had just received a call from that number - he told Me, "Just a minute", and then Captain Bipin spoke. I told him that I have been writing to Indian Presidents, Indian Prime Ministers, Indian Army  Chiefs for many years - nothing new - I have received GREETINGS from Presidents, Prime Ministers, etc., even a GREETING CARD from Indian Army Chief (General Deepak Kapoor,  who sent Me a very beautiful special printed greeting card from him and his family), latest from Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi (by Speed Post; it took about 10 -15 days by "SPEED POST" though he had spent about 40 rupees for Speed Post! - I have received MANY letters from Prime Minister's Office (PMO) and from the President's Secretariat in response to My MANY letters to Prime Ministers and Presidents detailing massive corruption in Assam) - Indian Army has also sent Me official letters in response to My clear explanation of how artificial floods in Guwahati are caused by sluice gate operartors and pump operators of Bharalumukh sluice gate in Guwahati - I told Captain Bipin that no one had ever asked Me before him WHY I send letters to the Indian Army Chief - I almost shouted when I told him that he was insulting Me - who was he to interfere? - I asked him angrily WHEN he joined Army Headquarters in New Delhi - "about a year ago", he replied - "WHERE were you before that?" I asked him angrily - "This is confidential", he told Me. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? You give Me stupid lectures but will not give Me your details. आप Indian Army के हो ही नहीं सकते! आप ज़रुर दो नम्बरी हैं! मैं President, Prime Minister, CBI Director, Indian Army Chief को आपके बारे में बता दूंगा !  The guy suggested that I should write "only for information and not for action". HOW STUPID! I told him, "मैं क्यों time waste करूं?! मैं स्वाधीन भारत का नागरिक हूं, आप कौन होते हैं interfere करने का!" I shouted. "You wrote to me ..." he told Me. I angrily told him "मैंने आपको कब लिखा? आप ने मेरी चिट्ठी पढ़ा भी नहीं" (It was clear to Me from his conversation with Me that he had not read My letter at all - he was a phony guy who somehow got My mobile number from the envelope on which I had written my mobile phone number when I sent My letter by courier service (Overnite Express). In a calmer mood, however, I explained to the guy "Captain Bipin" the following which made him very happy, I think:

I told him that I have always written to the President and Prime Minister and sent COPIES to Indian Army Chief, CBI Director etc. But on this exceptional occasion, My printers were not working because My iBall portable device connecting My printers (HP cartridge printer and CANON black laser printer) to My computer was not working (probably because of some virus) - so I wrote FOUR IDENTICAL COPIES by hand to:

1) President Ram Nath Kovind

2) Prime Minister Narendra Modi

3) CBI Director

4) Chief of Indian Army

Normally, I always write to President and Prime Minister with COPIES TO Chief of Indian Army, CBI Director etc. etc. But because My printers were not working (because of some problem due to loose connection or virus or whatever with My long used iBall portable device - I bought a new device a few days ago to replace it), I made four IDENTICAL hand-written copies - very tiresome work! - with the identical words "for your kind perusal and appropriation action" - the words "appropriate action" must have worried poor "Captain Bipin", whoever the poor guy was. I felt that he seemed very happy when he heard My very detailed soothing explanation and told Me in a very happy voice that My letter had been forwarded. I wonder who the poor worried guy was, whom I made very happy at the end.

Kishalay Sinha [G]